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You Mad, Bro?

"Anger is a sign that something needs to change." - Mark Epstein

When is the last time you felt angry?

Anger is a strong emotion. It is very tense, hot, and fast.

Maybe you have felt angry at your coach or your teammate.

Or maybe you have felt the wrath of you coach's anger!

From a coach's perspective, things like showing up late, messing around, or not paying attention could excite some anger.

Anger - while unpleasant to experience no matter which end of it you are on - has a purpose. It has a message for you. 

The message is simply that your standards (or rules) for your life (or team) have been violated. 

When something sets you off "all of the sudden," it is because you haven't addressed little annoyances for long enough that it has now become a very forceful and angry expression.

Good news is - you have something that matters to you.

Do you need to change your perspective? Or express your standards more clearly?

For example, athletes being late to practice repetitively could be interpreted as disrespectful. 

If a coach feels disrespected, they might express their frustration in an angry way and with punishments.

But being late might be because the athletes didn't realize how important it was for their coach that they arrive on time.

Communicating that arriving on time is a rule that must be followed, and outlining clear consequences for violating the rule might be all the coach really needs to do.

When you feel angry - acknowledge it. See where your rules are being violated.

Expressing yourself from anger usually doesn't end well. It only punishes yourself in the end.

Be aware of your own standards and values.  Practice communicating what they are to others.

Anger is always built on hurts, repeated over and over again.

"Kill the monster while it is small" as Tony Robbins would say. 

Don't let your hurts build up to something that is hard to control. 

Thank the hurt, the anger, for showing you more clearly what your own values are and DO SOMETHING to express yourself in a healthy way.

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