"You are always responsible for how you ACT regardless of how you FEEL."Anonymous
Humans are emotional creatures.
This is especially apparent in young children.
You can always tell how they are feeling because they act out all of their emotions.
When they are sad, they look the part. Bottom lip stuck out, tears streaming down their cheeks, nose running, breathing slowly.
The same is true when they are happy. You can feel their happiness because it radiates off of them.
Children are great at acting out their emotions.
They also think that everything they feel is because of someone or something else.
Humans grow up believing that they aren’t responsible for how they feel, and then act in ways they can’t seem to control.
This leads to blaming other people and other things for how you feel. Your coach. Your teammate. Your parents. Your teachers. Your opponent. The score. The weather. The time. The traffic.
You get the idea.
If you could control all of the things and people in your life, no doubt that would be the best option. But you can’t.
Becoming emotionally mature means you accept full responsibility for how you feel and for how you act.
This means, knowing whatever you are feeling is because of what you are focusing on.
It is always caused by a sentence in your brain.
Once you are aware of this, then you can choose to act in a way that will help you get the result you really want.
For example, when you are feeling mad because you are thinking your parents don’t understand you and aren’t listening, you might be tempted to yell and argue and act mad.
What you really want is to feel understood, not mad.
When you have the emotional capacity to notice that it is the thought “they don’t understand me and aren’t listening to me” that is causing the feeling of mad, then you can solve for that.
Instead of yelling and blaming your parents for you feeling mad, you can express calmly that you are feeling misunderstood and continue a conversation without reacting.
Knowing what feeling you want to be acting out of makes all the difference.
Accepting that you are the one in control by taking responsibility for your actions is the first step.
Allowing all the feelings without judgement is the next step.
Take your power back and stop blaming others for how you act.
It is totally worth it. You will be so glad you did.
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